Then I leave the house for the day, and everything falls apart.
I'm sure you know what I mean, because at some point, it happens to all of us.
How to Seem 10% Nuttier than You Actually Are:
- Walk through a spider's web.
- Get an itch in a weird place.
- Head through a door the minute someone else walks out the other way.
- Take a sip of milk that you thought was orange juice.
- Back into an activated electric fence.
- Try to explain something that you don't actually understand very well.
- Practice a tricky bit of dialogue from your new play out loud before you remember that you're working in the coffee shop today.
- Breathe a gnat in through your nose.
- Think there's a step down when there isn't.
- Think there's not a step down when there is.
- Sneeze uncontrollably.
- Be the only one who didn't get the memo about dress code.
- Have a nose whistle.
- Itch your face with the wrong end of the pen.
- Wave your arms to conduct the music (that's playing in your head).
- Forget to take down your car's sun shield until you've already backed out of the space and put the car in "Drive."
- Forget why you've come to the store; wander around staring at things; leave.
- Accidentally stand near a fire ant hill.
- Smile too much.
- Mistake literally anything for a snake.