Who among us couldn't stand to lose a few pounds--or a few dozen? The good news is that by following these four easy steps, you'll be on your way to a smaller pant size in no time.
How to Lose Weight in Four Easy Steps:
Step One: Eat all the snacks in your house. That way they'll be gone and will no longer pose a temptation. As an added bonus, you'll be headed into this adventure feeling full instead of hungry, meaning that you're less likely to shipwreck your diet.
Step Two: Immediately sit down and make a plan. Don't get up until you have mapped out a full weight-loss regimen. This process may take a while, since you'll have to do a lot of research. Make sure you're sitting somewhere comfortable.
Step Three: Join a gym with a cafe or smoothie bar. Good nutrition is important. Make sure you're getting plenty of it!
Step Four: Save your energy for your workouts. There's a reason it's called working out. It's challenging stuff! That's why between workouts, you should be sure to rest up. Sleep in, lie down with a book, take egregious naps. That way when the time comes to burn out at the gym, you'll have the strength you need to get it done.
Of course, the last time I needed to lose weight, I had no idea it would be this simple (since I hadn't yet written this post and therefore had no idea where to turn for advice). Instead, I fell back on the old weight-loss two-step: exercising more while eating healthier food. It seemed to work, but what do I know?
I'm a writer, not a nutritionist.
Special thanks to Bethany, who helped me brainstorm this post and is also the most long-suffering kickboxing partner ever.