How to Make Friends, Part 2 of 7: Announce Your Intent

One day I walked up to a girl named Hilary and said, "I don’t really know you, and you don’t know me, but we’re going to be friends. I’ve decided. Get used to the idea.”

Please understand that we weren’t children at the time. Doing the math right now in my head, I'm pretty confident in saying that I was at least twenty-one when this happened. 

And it wasn't a totally random act on my part. I did have a reason. We already had a few mutual friends, and we were going to be working together for the summer, so I thought it would just be better all around if we were friends. 

From that moment on, I treated her as if we were already close, as if we already had a well-traveled road behind us. I teased her, started making up inside jokes, and I told her things that I would tell close friends.

I followed her around and basically wedged myself into her life.

And do you know what? It worked!

In a case of “fake it ‘till you make it”-style friendship, we grew genuinely fond of each other while developing a real core of shared experiences.


Fifteen years later, we’re still going strong. I’m so thankful for this long and faithful friendship.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that as a friend-making tactic, this doesn’t always work. The whole “treating someone as if you’re already close friends until they get the idea” thing can backfire. In fact, I’m fairly sure that some of the other people I tried it on went away thinking I was either mentally imbalanced or a stalker. (Or both.)

But at least once, it worked, and beautifully so.

For those of you unconvinced of this method of friend-making, there’s no better way to prove it sound (or not) than to try it yourself.

Be sure to get back to me with your results!


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