Monday, September 16, 2013

How to Survive the Fall

Against the Sky


Here we find ourselves knee-deep in September, facing another change in season. If you're one of those people who dreads the onset of colder temperatures, read on. (Even if you're not, read on anyway. I'd hate to think that I typed all of this out for nothing.)

How to Survive the Fall:

1.  Brace Yourselves for Pumpkin-flavored Everything. Cookies, coffees, teas, candies, candles, air fresheners, flavored creamers--you name it. Personally, I don't see the attraction. If I wanted squash-flavored coffee, I'd... well, the point is, I don't. 

But you might, and if so, hooray for you. 

2. Gain Weight. After all, cold temperatures lurk just around the corner, and everyone knows that shiver-worthy temps are bit more bearable with some flesh packed around those cold bones. So go for it.

Pumpkin spice cake, anyone?

3. Develop a Football Season Coping Mechanism. Mine is to curl up with lots of books until it's all over. 

(courtesy of Quickmeme.com)
4. Live in a place like Florida. Although some Floridians joke that we don't actually have seasons, the truth is that we actually have two: they're called "Hot" and "Less Hot." (Although some people like to call them "Extra Hot" and "Just Regular Hot," while still others opt for "Hot and Sunny" vs. "Hot and Rainy, " aka "Gross.") 

The only discernible season we all collectively recognize is the one currently upon us: it's called Hurricane Season, and it's officially celebrated from June 1-November 30, with the general heyday reached during October. 

While the rest of you are unpacking your functional scarves and brewing up your pumpkin spice coffees, we're double checking the Doppler forecast, tracking storm systems through the Caribbean, and battening down the hatches in an effort to keep from being blown straight off the map. 

So if you want to know what it really takes to survive the fall, come on down and we'll show you.

Feel free to leave your scarves at home.


2 comments:

  1. I thought for a moment, given the title, that this would be a post about how to survive a fall that breaks your ankle. Or perhaps a fall from Grace.

    I'm with you though- I see no appeal in PUMPKIN EVERYTHING!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Not surprised, Emily! I probably should have used a less serious/evocative image as a hook, but..... *shrug* Maybe those posts will follow later, because they both show promise.

      And I'm glad that I'm not the only one with the pumpkin ambivalence!

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